You Know You're Canadian When...

You Know You're From Canada When...

You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk." You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine on the chesterfield." You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars. You drink pop, not soda. You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion and many more are Canadians. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian! You know what a touque is. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee". You understand the Labatt Blue commercials. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan." You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada." You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, "Huh?" Winter. Whenever you want it. And then some. There's German food, Italian food, Chinese food, Armenian food, American food, but NO Canadian food. You call a "mouse" a "moose". You like the Americans a little because they don't want Quebec either. Contests run by anyone other than the government have "skill-testing questions" that winners must answer correctly before they can claim a prize. Everything is labelled in English and French. Milk comes in plastic bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs. Mountain Dew has no caffeine. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Canada.

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