Hungry for Stories

I'm hungry, litterally, but in fear of my parents waking up because of the sounds of me preparing food, I've decided to satisfy my appetite reading from fanfiction.net.

I'm very choosy.

At the begginning, I was able to take in some AU in LoTR-dom, but due to the fact that Tolkien has his restrictions, it was hard to make a decent AU fic without making poor Mr. Tolkien turn in his grave and/or the readers writhe in utter disgust. There were decent ones, but many were not finished.

So I gave up on AU, and turned to Romance as a last resort (I have not found many good humour fic so far, as most of them are Parody, and often tasteless ones at that), and discovered, that due to the shortage on strong and pretty female characters (three were active, one was at the begginning and the end, and the rest were after the War), there were only three options left for those trying to get a gooey romantic fix: do the few canons pairings there are, and try to add character to those wives whom Jackson and Tolkien thrust into the background; make up unforgivable Mary-Sues; or to Slash 'em.

Of course, I abhorred Mary-Sue, because the writers were obviously trying too hard, and the canon wives just didn't appeal, so I went somewhere I've never gone before: Slash.

I've discovered the addictive world of inter-species, RPS (real person slash), and now Bag End family threesomes O.o

I'm so used to reading about homosexuality that I'm pretty sure I'll accept it in real life. Hell, if everyone read about it, the world might become a little less homophobic. But I'm Canadian, and I don't care a goat's bladder what your orientation is, as long as you're not dating me. Well, actually I do. If you date me, I sincerely hope you're straight, cause it will get awkward when the secret comes out.

Anyways, my fetish is Frodo/nearly every pretty canon character, therefore:

NO

Gandalf (too old)
Gimli (too bearded)
Ringwraith (yes, those exist)
Gollum (yuck!)
Elrond (Sorry, got nothing against him. He just isn't the slashable type, somehow.)
Denethor (ick!)
Saruman (see above)
Bilbo (guy's like his frikken father, fer God's sakes!)

YES
Gildor
Glorfindel
Legolas
Aragorn
Boromir
Faramir
Sam
Arwen (no particular reason)
Eowyn (ditto)
Galadriel (once again)
Rose (even better when Sam's there, too. ;)
Orc (yeah, I'm weird)

The rest, I don't fancy nor hate. It all depends.

Now, I'm going ficcie-hunting!